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Old Aug 20, 2005, 10:56 PM // 22:56   #21
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Ok, I don't know if many of you will think this one's funny, but here it goes.

The three stupidest people in the world are stranded on an island. One of them finds a lamp and a genie appears. The genie says, "I'll grant you each one wish for freeing me."
The first one says, "I wish I was twice as smart as I am now!" The genie grants his wish, the now smarter man builds a boat, and sails away.
The next person says, "I wish I was four times as smart as I am now!" The genie grants his wish, the now even SMARTER man builds a plane and flies away.
The last person says, "I wish I was ONE HUNDRED times as smart as I am now!" The genie grants his wish, and the smartest man of all crosses the bridge.
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Old Aug 20, 2005, 11:07 PM // 23:07   #22
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A Polar Bear family is walking along in the frozen north. The baby Polar Bear runs up next to this brother and says "Brother Bear? Am I a Polar Bear?"

The brother bear says, "Yes, baby bear, you are a polar bear. You are a bear and you are white and you are here at the north pole... so you are a Polar Bear."

The baby bear falls back into line. A few minutes later he runs up next to the momma bear. He says "Momma Bear, am I a Polar Bear?"

The momma bear says "Yes, baby Bear, you are a Polar bear, I am a Polar Bear, your father is also a Polar Bear, so that makes you a Polar Bear."

The baby bear falls back into line. A few minutes later he runs up next to the father bear. He says "Father Bear, am I a Polar Bear?"

The Father bear says "Yes, baby bear, for christ's sake!! Why do you keep asking if you are a Polar bear?!"

"BECAUSE I AM F@&*ING FREEZING!!"
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Old Aug 21, 2005, 12:28 AM // 00:28   #23
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lmao~~
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Old Aug 21, 2005, 12:41 AM // 00:41   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EchoSex
Being a gun enthusianst I can't rate that high 'cause it's wrong x.x It's one action, or kock (Yeah, you gotta spell it that way here) when you hear the "Cha-chunk." If it were two, you'd have wasted a shell.
Have you ever heard of a double barrel shot-gun?
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Old Aug 21, 2005, 12:46 AM // 00:46   #25
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your momma is so fat when she stepped on the weighing scale she said,"I want my weight not my social security number!"

your momma is so poor that when i went to her house and stepped on a cigarette she said,"who turned off the heater?"

Your momma is so poor that when i went to her house and stepped in some shit she said, "who killed the family pet?"

what do you get when you cross Yoda and Mace Windu?
Mint chocolate

Im fond of that last one.
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Old Aug 21, 2005, 03:08 AM // 03:08   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Cyco
Have you ever heard of a double barrel shot-gun?
Oooooo!
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Old Aug 21, 2005, 03:11 AM // 03:11   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Cyco
Have you ever heard of a double barrel shot-gun?
Mhm. unless your refering to a double barrled Holland & Holland, it's double action and doesn't require to be kocked.
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Old Aug 21, 2005, 05:34 AM // 05:34   #28
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An American, a Canadian, and an Australian were sitting at a bar having shots. The american throws back his shot, throws the glass in the air, shoots it with a gun and says to the men, "In America, we have so much money we don't have to drink out of the same glass twice."

The Australian then throws back his shot, throws the glass in the air and shoots it with the gun. He then says, "In Australia, we have so much sand to make glass, we never have to drink out of the same glass twice."

The Canadian then throws back his shot, throws the glass in the air, and shoots the American. Turning to the confused Australian he says, "In Canada, we have so many Americans we never have to drink with the same one twice."

GG.
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Old Aug 21, 2005, 08:44 PM // 20:44   #29
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http://www.ebaumsworld.com/mrbergis.html hes the angriest guy in the whole world its so hilarious i pissed my pants lol long ones and medium ones but i'd watch them all its hilarious
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Old Aug 23, 2005, 05:43 AM // 05:43   #30
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The Best way to get world peace- Kill Everyone.
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Old Aug 23, 2005, 05:58 AM // 05:58   #31
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lol nice CerealKiller.

ok heres one that heard.

A man in a bar gets up from his table and walks over to the bartender. He says to him: "Bartender, i bet you $50 that I can piss into that cup way over there." The man points to an empty tankard across the bar, a good 30 feet.
The bartender says "I'll take that bet!" thinking of some easy cash to buy another Guild Wars account. The man get up, and starts pissing all over the bar, stuff is going everywhere and clearly not in the cup. The bar was empty by then except a few fellows in the corner. Bartender says "Hand over the $50." He hands him the money. Bartender tell him that hes an idiot for trying that. the Man says " I made out a whole lot better than you did, I bet those guys in the corner $1,000 I could piss all over your bar without you stopping me!"

Last edited by Lampshade; Aug 23, 2005 at 06:06 AM // 06:06..
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Old Aug 23, 2005, 01:39 PM // 13:39   #32
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ahhhheemmm. Excuse the racism.

There is a russian, a chineese person and a canadian person on a boat. First the russian has a sip o his vodca and throws it overboard. Everyone was shocked at the waste of vodca but then he says "There's lots in my country, it doesent matter". After that the chineese person has a bag of rice, he eats one spoonfull, then throws the rest overboard. He says the same thing as the russia did. Then the canadian throws the chineese person overboard.
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